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| 08:10pm 09/05/2005 |
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mood:  Fuck off and die music: Virgin Steele-Invictus
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I haven't updated this in a while, mostly because I have been busy dealing with all the bad elements of life and high school. It sucks.
But let's state the positive stuff first, shall we?
Played through Doom 3: Ressurrection of Evil. For the most part it was more of the same, but it's an expansion, so that's expected. The double barreled shotgun is endlessly entertaining.
Saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Despite the fact that it strayed from the plot a good deal, it was true to the spirit of the book and therefore I loved it. Marvin was great.
Also, I found a cool Flash game on the internet called the Punk-O-Matic. Kinda nifty. Ceck it out.
Here's the link:
http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-548.htm
And here's the code to my creation.
---0--0--06-0--0--0-6-83--83--83--83-80--0--0--0--0--889----2-6-0---8888--0--0--0-6-911-11-11-11-11-11-11---a---a---a---a-611-11-11-11-11-11---b-----11--111-6-11-11-11-1b---0---2-4-96-787-8----5647564756478-96-787-8-6-7-8--9----6-7-8-6-7-888---6-7-7-678--
On a more negative note, Junior year looks like it's going to suck just as much as the last two. The major difference is that this time, I have no weed or brandy to help ease the misery. Fuck.
Things suck these days. They suck left and right.
To start with, my grade seem to have taken a nose dive into the shitter without my consent. It feels kinda like they are being sabotaged, although I know that's bullshit. 3 fuckin' Ds on the recent progress report. Damn.
On a more personal note, stuff with girls is going straight to hell.
Jill is still going out with her boyfriend, who is not me. Nothing's gonna happen there. Damn
I don't suppose I can complain about Nina. Nothing was going to happen anyway. Not a fucking chance. Damn.
Stephanie is also still going out with that Ian the Lesbian bloke. Nothing's gonna happen there. Damn.
Caitlin broke up with Dominique a few months ago, but now is going out with this Jordan Cooper guy. He's a really cool and nice fellow, so I don't suppose I can blame her. The problem is that she seems to have really fallen in love with the guy. Fuck.
The reason for the stronger explicative when referring to Katie is that she is the main focus of my affections at this time. I think it's fair to say I like her more than any girl I have liked previously. It's not necessarily that's she's mind-bogglingly fine (although she is). I have known girls that are more attractive than she, but that is no matter. She has captured my attention through her personality, grace, beauty, etc. In simpler terms: I don't want her, I love her. Enough bullshit.
The fact is, though, that watching the one you love cultivate a relationship with someone else really sucks. I could describe it as feeling vaguely like being kicked in the chest by a horse every time you see her, think about her, etc.
The worst part is knowing Katie was in love with Jordan for a while before they started going out. Andy,who I may have mentioned before, apparently delivered some sort of a note to Jordan for Katie. Well, fuck. It looks like I am not going to see this end until long after I have graduated. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
On the flip side, I got a date (supposedly) with Kate (the quiet one from the color guard). I was feeling frustrated with being alone, saw Kate, and thought “what the hell?” I asked if we could do the date…thing sometime. She said she didn’t know, but would think about it. I asked a few days later if she had thought about it, and she said that she would have to see if she had any time this weekend. She had an AP test the next day, which was consequentially Friday, so I didn’t get to talk to her and find out. Damn. This weekend, she is going to the desert with her family, so no luck this weekend either. I can’t help but think that she is trying to delay it because she doesn’t want to do it. Damn.
I would like to keep talking, but I need to get off. Later. |
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| The past few weeks |
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| 02:29am 06/09/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: Hammerfall - Way of the Warrior
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It's been a wile since the last time I updated, so I think I will use this time to write about the last few weeks and about anything interesting that happened.
For one, band camp turned out alot better than it had previous years. Our new marching instructor, David Box, is a really good instructor, but otherwise has a real knack for driving people nuts. This year's selection of music is "The Music of Gordon Goodwin," which happens to kick more ass than is humanly possible. The best tune from the show is, naturally, Count Bubba. I seem to not suck as much this year, so I'm in rather high spirits (for me at least). For those of you who are curious as to the final count of money owed to the Bad Mouth Box, here it is:
$376.75
Outside marching band, I've gone back to school. With people like John, Darren, Chris, and Melissa gone, it's not quite the same, and I've gotten back to my old routine of constantly feeling depressed. If nothing else, Melissa is no longer there to mooch food off of. I tried mooching off of James and Fitz, but it doesn't really work. The most I've been able to borrow is a quarter, and people usually make me pay back double. I wish Melissa was a junior in high school so I could mooch off of her.
Outside of school and band, life has actually been relatively eventful. Despite having to go to Blythe (which is the name for our rental house) to get it ready for the next tennant all day, every day for a week, life is still good.
Strangely enough, almost every eventful event of the past few weeks has involved Melissa in some way. I somehow get the feeling that she thinks I am stalking her. Not that I actually am, but I simply have this paranoid feeling that I'm fucking everything up and scaring her shitless. But paranoia aside, if she is scared of me, then she is easily the best liar and actor in history. Aw, fuck it.
I happened to meet Melissa's boyfriend. He seems like a nice enough guy, and for that matter, very much like me (except for the anime). they walked over to my house after band camp and we went to the park, where we talked about video games, RPG's (DnD type), Vikings and Scotsmen, which of the two previous groups was tougher, our hobbies, and the occasional perverse subject. Melissa claims to have stayed quiet and bashful through the whole thing, but that's, well...
It's not just bull shit, it's HORSE shit.
At the end of the evening, I gave Melissa a CD of 300 something megs of metal, blues, jazz, and other stuff. This was done mainly in an effort to convert her to metal and especially MANOWAR!!!! Thus far, I seem to be succeeding. Also, and I regret this, I gave her Doom 3. I promised that I would have her head on a pike if she copied it, and thus she did just that. I need to get a pike.
Also, Melissa got her wisdom teeth out. I never actually talked to her in person, because at the time I learned of this it was too late to do anything, so she complained to me about being depressed. I tried to comfort her, but only found myself shouting (literally) to shut the fuck up when she said she wanted to kill herself. At the time, I suddenly felt like a man on a mission to keep all the depressed feelings to myself. I don't mean to sound victimized or like a hero or like some drama king or any other shit you might be thinking, but if anyone could help with the whole depressed thing, it's probably me (considering...). So when she tried to go to sleep, I ended up staying up all night playing Doom 3. This wasn't much of a challenge, because Doom 3 is not only awesome but scary as hell. Also, being a chronic insomniac, the whole no sleep thing is sorta a casual thing. She was feeling better the next day, and so I felt accomplised.
Just today, I woke up only to discover that I was doomed to go to Blythe all day. I think that the gods obviously intervened and saved me from digging holes to plant trees. For at that moment, Melissa signed on to AIM and we spoke for a few minutes. In the nick of time, she asked if I wanted to go to Circuit City with me. After getting a shower and all that, she showed up and whisked me away from my fate of Blythe. So if she is reading this, I'd like to thank her. After exchanging the MP3 player, we decided to (I disgrace all that is masculine) go to the mall. We walked around through Sharper Image, got Mongolian barbeque, and went to a few other places. We passed by what was once the Game Keeper. It's now "Knights of Anime." I felt the urge to storm into the store and yell at everybody, but because of Melissa's continuous urgings not to, I settled for standing in the doorway and yelling to the cashier that she had no soul. We then passed by what was once Dapy. The new store was going out of business, so Melissa and I went in and Melissa bought a sex toy (I'm not fucking kiddig). I felt slightly timid and uncomfortable shopping for sex toys with a girl as, well, unattractive as Melissa. It was at this point that Melissa got into her now usual habit of teasing me (ugh) by insisting that I want her body. For the love of God, what does that woman want from me? Does she actually think that she will succeed in making me want her? Oh wait, God dammit, I think it's working. After buying sex toys (I didn't buy shit) we went back to her house so I could help her with Doom 3 and help her find that PDA that she was having trouble finding. Turns out she already fucking had it. After that, we listened to some of the metal I gave her. Then we decided to go to my house so she could see Doom 3 without the massive lag problems, and to put all of the original Dooms onto a CD for her. When we got there to play Doom 3, we discovered that Melissa had left the CD at her house.
It was at this moment that I felt the urge to tackle something.
So I did.
The problem was that the immediate target was Melissa. So, with steel in the wind, and my heart of steel pounding loud and clear, I triumphed over the pathetic girl sitting on my bed while screaming my terrible war cry, which struck fear into her pathetic heart of, say, aluminum and not STEEL. When I finally came out of my berserk frenzy, I realized what I had done, and felt quite awkward. Then, with steel in the wind, and our hearts of steel pounding loud and clear, we rode upon our demon steeds (which was in fact Melissa's car) to go get the great treasure of Doom 3. After I showed her Doom 3, the subject suddenly swung around to, of all things, sex. She seemed to spend the whole conversation emphasizing that she wants to never have sex with me. Sometimes she gives me the impression that she wants the exact opposite. When I get this impression, I either cringe (sometimes), react indifferently (sometimes), or (this one worries me) like the idea (more often than previously). We then went back to her house to watch the first half of Gone With The Wind (fuckin' chick flicks). At 7, Tracy, Aubry and Allie came over for movie night. We watched the second half of Gone With The Wind and then began watching the Godfather but never actually finished it because everyone but me was a fuckin pussy and decided that they didn't want to stay up and watch it. But then again, I am an insomniac.
Am I sounding too chatty right now? I thought so. But I am not going to erase any of that because it took up too much time to write.
So there you have it. My last few weeks in a nutshell.
I'd write more, but you are probably begging for this to be over and I've got 2 weeks of Doom 3 to catch up on.
Goodnight.
And Melissa's right (whimper) |
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| 10:08pm 21/08/2004 |
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I've been a little busy with Band Camp, so I haven't been able to update anything.
So I shall now empty my seemingly bottomfull bucket of details now.
I've been out every day for 12 hours marching and playing music. It must be getting to my head, because I think I am enjoying myself. When the day is over, I usually go home and play Doom 3 or talk to Melissa about how great Doom 3 is and how she should get it.
So you see, I haven't really found any time to update. |
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| Whatever |
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| 08:29pm 14/08/2004 |
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mood:  quixotic music: Iron Maiden
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Went to see a movie with Melissa today.
Saw The Village. Interesting idea plus good camera work made for a good thrill, but not an especially memorable movie.
Apparently, I am subconciously psychic. Today, Melissa was wearing a shirt with King Kong holding Africa while jets shot him.
Hmm.....
Also, Amanda somehow got my screenname.
I'm not sure how, but Amanda, if you are reading this, I'm curious.
Other than that, nothing interesting.
I think I shall play Doom now.
Goodnight. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Huh? |
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| 06:12pm 20/07/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: Randy Newman - Political Science
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I had an extremely bizzare dream last night.
King Kong was holding Africa by it's polkadot boxer shorts while bi-planes flew around and shot ice cream cones at him.
Perhaps I should cut down on the pizza before bedtime. |
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| DAMMIT! |
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| 11:46pm 28/06/2004 |
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mood:  cynical music: Bathory
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It seems as though there is great disparity between my entries. Probably because I never find time or a lack of laziness big enough to update my journal, it's fun to speculate. So, with time and energy, I am sitting here writing this while listening to Bathory at earsplitting volume. You know that it's too loud when the neighbors who live down the street are complaining.
Now to the point.
I am now easily the biggest dumbass in the world. Turns out that Melissa's party was on the 25th, as opposed to the 26th as I had originally thought. She thought it quite comical when I arrived at her doorstep almost exactly one day late. After smashing my head against the wall, we talked for an hour or so. When I went home, I realized that there was a smudge over the five in 25th to make it look like a 6. Upon seeing this, I kicked my desk and wall and dresser until my foot was bruised, hit my radio, which caused it to play some Mexican radio station, hit it until it shut the fuck up, and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore.
Fortunatly, Allie was having a party of her own that evening. The fact that I was invited struck me as odd, because she isn't any more than a particularly good acquaintance. Turns out that since Melissa was going to be there, she told her what happened and Allie decided to invite me. At the party, we started to watch Meet Joe Black, but never actually did. So instead we sat around and talked about (of all things) ancient outlooks on homosexuality.
Wierd.
I think i shall go eat now.
Goodnight |
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| Life, and why it sucks |
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| 11:28pm 16/06/2004 |
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mood:  depressed music: Manowar
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Hmm...
I think I finally have time and a distinct lack of anything better to do to update this damn thing, so I shall. I was just thinking about all the seniors who graduated last week, and about how much I will either miss them or celebrate their departure. The two who stick in my head most are Darren and Melissa. Darren attracts my attention because of the respect I have for him. Melissa does because she is probably my best friend, and I probably won't see her much anymore. Well, she is one of the few people who is willing to endure my irritating presence, despite how irritated it seemed to make her. Perhaps the we shall meet again. Probably not, but I like to think so. At least I will get to see Melissa at her birthday party. At least I can IM her and complain. Well, I think it is time to go to bed, so I shall waste no more of thy precious time. Goodbye. |
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| life |
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| 11:35pm 16/05/2004 |
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mood: enraged music: Rhapsody
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I am feeling very miserable right now. That's not something that I find unusual, but I like to say so anyways. Not that anyone reading (if anyone is) cares, but I like to think they do. It makes me feel more important. I think I shall kick something. (Kicks desk). Dammit, now my foot hurts. You know, miserable does not describe how I feel. I AM MAD! If I had a brick right now, I would hit something with it. But seeing as how I have niether a brick nor a suitable substitiute, I shall not hit anything with a brick. It's getting late, so I won't waste any more of thy precious time. Goodnight. See you in hell. |
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